Recipe For Disaster
by QueenNayBear
Summary: Sirius Black doesn't beg for forgiveness. Marlene McKinnon holds grudges. Throw a topless Mina Lima, overly amused mates, and a cheating bastard in the mix, and you've got a recipe for disaster.


_Chapter 1: Where The Story Begins_

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot. The train and every character I mentioned in it, is all canon character. All hail Queen Jo!**

**Warning: There is mention of a homosexual relationship. So if you don't like that sort of thing, sorry.**

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"I hate trains," Marlene McKinnon groans from where she is lying on her stomach, her face smushed into the fabric of her bag, which contains her copy of The Catcher in the Rye that is slightly frayed from the overuse it has seen over the last year and her scarf which it had gotten too hot for.

"Mars, come on, it isn't _that _bad, stop whining," Lily Evans rolls her eyes at her blonde friend, not looking up from the copy of Witch Weekly she is reading with Mary MacDonald who is painting her toenails a violent shade of red, a colour that she has already forced onto Lily's nails despite Lily's protests of her auburn curls clashing with the shade. Where they _did _clash, you didn't ever get away with saying no to Mary MacDonald so it was fine. It wasn't like there was the option of disagreeing.

Marlene looks affronted... well, as affronted as a seventeen year old girl can manage when nothing but the side of her face is visible. "Don't be a bitch, Red," Emmeline admonishes from the corner of the compartment where she has been writing for the last half hour of their journey. Marlene raises her fist for a fist-bump – that she does not get, unfortunately – and sticks her tongue out at Emmeline when she tells Marlene to, "Grow up, because no one cares."

Mary snorts at Emmeline's words and comments, "You just sounded creepily like Mars just then," which makes Marlene and Lily voice their agreement because they can't just let Em off the hook for the admonishments they had just recieved. Because, hey, if they did that, they might start seeming more seventeen than seven years old – and we just couldn't have _that, _now, could we? Yes, thought not.

"Oh, shut up, and let me write, MacDonaldDrum," Emmeline laughs at her friends, using the nickname they gave to Mary all the way back in first year. It is strange that after six (and going on seven this September first) years that they have been living together, the four girls (plus, Alice who was currently with Frank and the Marauders), and they knew almost everything if not everything about each other: they had learnt so many things together, and had a lot of experiences that just wouldn't have made them the same people they were today if they hadn't had each other to share them with, they had been living together for so long that sometimes they were they amalgamation of each other…and it was lovely, very much so, to be able to have something like that. It went as an unsaid sort of thing, the appreciation for this bond they had. Not that any of them was about to go on about this, not for the fear of the mocking about the cheesiness that would ensue.

So, they all resume what they had been doing: Emmeline going back to writing, Mary and Lily going back to their Girl Time Central, and Marlene going back to complaining about how restless being cooped up in here felt.

After a while, Emmeline puts away her notebook, and Mary and Lily finish up, then they pay attention to Marlene's whinging. "If you hate the train so much, why don't you just g for a walk, cross something of The List of The Day?" Lily suggests.

"But then I'll have to stand up…" Marlene bites her lip, weighing her options: get up and move of lie here and be miserable. "It'd be a much nicer walk if you accompany me?" she looks at the three girls who are now huddled up on the seat in front of her.

This time, Lily snorts. "Yeah, I've had a Potter-less day, thanks very much," she says, raising her eyebrows at Marlene, "and I would very much like to keep it that way."

"You'd think the Head Girl would have a little more tolerance for her fellow Gryffie's, don't you think?" Marlene narrows her eyes at Lily. "Why don't you two just have a little angry sex and get it over with?" she asks. "Also, speaking of Head Girl, who's your counterpart?

"Because, a) He is irritating and stalkerish, and b) He thinks being mean is funny, and it is not. Plus, he insists that I can fall in love with him, though he doesn't know the first thing about me. Also, he keeps doing that bloody irritating hair thi-" and Marlene has to put a hand on Lily's mouth to stop the rant. "Merlin, okay, we get it! Sexual frustration, much?Regardless, who's Head Boy?" Lily licks Marlene's palm childishly, making puppy-dog eyes at her.

Marlene rolls her eyes at Lily's response, "Don't give a shit, mate," she says, looking at Emmeline and Mary now instead. "I'm menstruating, do not bother," Emmeline flat-out shuts her up before she has the chance to ask, and then Mary says, "Show me your list of the day first and I'll let you know." Marlene huffs about it, sure, but she hands over the list after she digs it out of the pocket of her robes, releasing Lily.

"I don't know who Head Boy is, I'll find out at the Prefect meeting in a bit," Lily finally answers now that she is not trapped.

"Number one," Mary laughs and begins to read aloud, "do not snap at Red, _fail_," she announces. Marlene shoots her the bird, making Mary smirk, but continues, "Number two, do _not _snap at James," she looks up at Marlene with raised eyebrows, "Love, you've grown up with him living next door to you, and you can't really stand the bloke, so I am guessing _fail _since you came to the station with him and Mrs. Potter…" Mary gathers she is right when Marlene glares at her, not saying anything. "Number three, remember chocolate for crabby Emmy." and that one earns a loud, boisterous laugh from Lily, and a whack on the leg from Emmeline to Marlene. "But, also, _fail_. No chocolate, and a very crabby Emmy," Mary grins, winking at Emmeline to show she is just kidding. "Number four, beat the start of the year Marauders Prank," Mary reads off the last thing on the list, eyebrows close to disappearing under her black fringe because of how raised they are. "Planet Mars, I'm afraid you will be walking alone." Marlene sighs, having failed at all four tasks, clearly, and takes out the hair-tie she had used to bundle her hair up and shakes her blonde waves out. Without another word, she grabs her satchel, digs out some money, and then goes to find the trolley to get some chocolate. And, you know what? _None for Crabby Emmy!_

"We should have gone with her," Lily sighs, looking up from Witch Weekly over to where Emmeline and Mary and cuddling with each other, exchanging kisses because they know Lily won't say anything. Lily's the only person who _knows_, and so it's okay if they can actually be a couple away from prying eyes. They don't want anyone to know and that's why Marlene can't know: she is loved, but she is too _loud_.

"How much trouble could she get up to, possibly?" Emmeline questions once she pulls away from Mary. Mary hums thoughtfully before her eyes widen. "Maybe we _should _ go check on her, then?" Mary says warily.

"No, no, it's fine, guys. Carry on, she'll be okay. You know she's already pretty moody right now, it isn't smart to approach a sleeping dragon," Lily smiles weakly, looking back to the article on hair charms. Emmeline and Mary don't complain, already back to cuddling and talking in soft voices for things that were reserved only for them.

"Okay, I'm headed to the Prefect meeting, see you in a bit, guys," Lily says, checking her watch after about fifteen minutes, and stands up to go.

"Where is the fucking trolley?" Marlene practically growls to herself, walking down the narrow hallway with compartments on either side of her. Suddenly, the compartment to her right opens and out steps her neighbour's best mate: the infamous Sirius Black. Most girls would swoon, but Marlene starts cursing in earnest.

Then, Sirius clamps down a hand on her mouth like she had done not too long ago with Lily and smirks at the way Marlene glares at him. "Sailor mouth, much, McKinnon?"

Where Lily licks hands, Marlene _bites_. And even she has to admit, it works way, _way _better than Lily's tactic. "Fucking _ouch_, McKinnon," Sirius howls, yanking his hand away, now glaring back at her. "You'd think after six years, you'd become less of a bitch!"

Marlene rolls her eyes, unimpressed, "Oh, please, Black, just like you've gotten less irritating?" she raises an eyebrow at him as if to say _Yeah, I didn't think so. _Sirius leans back against the now-shut compartment door, making his body press uncomfortably close to Marlene's. "What were you even doing grabbing my face like that anyway?" she asks, trying to back into the hallway subtly.

Not that he lets her, the smug bastard. "I was just going for a smoke, I didn't want you to blab. Ol' Sluggy goes on about how _unhealthy _it is, very boring," he answers, showing her the cigarette box in his other hand.

"It isn't like Professor Slughorn isn't _right, _Black. It _is _outrageously unhealthy," Marlene snorts, taking the box from him and looking it over, looking confused. "This is a muggle brand, Vermin smokes these," Marlene says, referring to Lily's soon-to-be brother-in-law. Sirius doesn't question who 'Vermin' is, now stepping ahead of her, motioning for her to join him.

"So?" he smirks, grabbing her to walk with him when she looks at his hand with distaste. "You aren't complaining about the train this year?" he asks, because Marlene's hatred for trains is no secret by now. "Actually," Marlene counters, "that is precisely why I am out here. I was looking for the trolley but I mostly came out for more air, less suffocation," she explains. "Except, all I got was a mouthful of you and not much more air."

She sees Sirius' smirk widen before she actually realizes what she said. "Stop, you prick, I didn't mean it like that," she hurries to say, not really affecting his smugness at all if his expression was any indication. "Sure, McKinnon, whatever you say," he drawls, "but, if you're that concerned, it doesn't bother me at all, you thinking about a certain part of my anatomy."

"Fuck off, Black," Marlene shoots him another withering glare, turning around to storm away but she forgets he was holding onto her arm until he yanks her back, forcing her to be pressed up against him quite properly. Her cheeks would be flushed if she had the ability to blush, but for now, blinking up at her fellow Gryffindor is what she settles for.

"Relax, McKinnon, come on, I know how to get you fresh air," he says, clearly calling for a momentary truce and she lets her lead him to wherever he wants to. "As long as you stop sexually harassing me," she remarks wryly, looking at the door he indicates to incredulously.

"If this is, like, a portal to some secret underworld, I will cut you," Marlene warns him, before opening it reluctantly. What she sees makes her look at him in utter confusion. "Are you actually being decent to me, Black?" she asks, evidently shocked.

Sirius laughs his usual scarily loud laugh, because _apparently_ her shock is comical for him, and shakes his head at her. "Thank me by being utterly _indecent _with me, and we're good," he winks at her, earning a whack in the stomach. He doesn't even feign his wince because Marlene grew up around James and, though the two didn't get on very well, _Merlin _he had taught her how to throw a good one.

"Twat," she mutters, sinking down against the door, sighing almost contentedly. Sirius smiles at her instead of smirking, because it isn't like she can see, and lights up his cigarette, leaning against the doorjamb himself.

They don't talk for the next half hour. But, hey, at least Marlene stops complaining.

"Oi, why are you happy? You usually come back complaining and bitchy?" Lily asks before Mary can after Marlene walks in when the train stops, Emmeline having already gone off to grab her trunk and greet her Ravenclaw friends.

"Thanks, guys, love you, too," she scoffs, grabbing her satchel and slinging it around herself. "Give this to Emmy, would you?" Marlene asks Mary, handing her the chocolate she got on her way back to the compartment. Lily and Mary can only watched, bemused, as Marlene grins with satisfaction, crossing number three off her list before heading out of the compartment, leaving the other two to follow.

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**_A/N: Okay, so, not my best but definitely my first. Hope I get a review or two, yeah? This is a bit unusual and I'm not very good with beginning chapters regardless. I am writing this fic on whim because it's plot came to me one night and caught me unawares. So, yeah, enjoy and let me know how I did, okay?_**

**_Xxx_**

Nay.


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